Last evening I ran 5km without stopping. Yesss!

Recently I was blamed, again (123789463786th time) for a miss. This is the first time I responded to that email from the director.

When I was trying to start a countdown.

I don’t believe in charity. I never did it even though under immense pressure. Recently my boss brought a charity ticket for 200 bucks for her daughter’s campaign. He had to pay himself and he still hates me for that.

You are probably one of those who get loads of texts daily full of Islamic prayers and Hadiths. I am one of them too. There’s a person I know who sends me Islamic info and prayers daily. But he is also the person who sends me the most vulgar of jokes and is the raunchiest person I have ever met.

All of my colleagues are very religious and follow a cult. They preach me to say prayers. But also they are the people who steal drinks from the fridge everyday. And more religious of them is a flawless backstabber.

There are lots of people on internet who love Iranian president’s simple way of living. His saying prayer on a road. His simple food. A very simple wedding of his son. But they would not say prayer except on some exquisite carpet, wouldn’t get less than Chicken Manchurian, and wedding arrangements like that for themselves in an insult to them.

What I say is this: There’s nothing wrong with believing in whatever you like. But you will have to stand on your believes. Contradictions would ridicule you.

I would love an honest atheist over a hypocrite cleric.

Thanks, man.

When you wear this shirt at work, you have to explain a lot.

Yesterday I started reading Getting Real by 37signals. As I proceed with every word and sentence, it looks like somebody robbed my brain and my experience of working with this form, and published it. It’s a bible of contemporary web. Must read for everyone.

At about 11 45 (in the noon?) my boss called and inquired about my plans of reaching office. Since I didn’t have any reasons so I had to fabricate a lie on the fly. Of course you know by now that I had a reason but that’s actually just apex of stupidity, no? Anyways, I had to tell a lie and tell it quick. I told my boss that I had food poisoning last night, and second appointment with doctor in the morning. The first appointment was of course last night in Emergency. Heard a loud scream on the other end of the phone: “Food poisoning?!?!?!?!?!”.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what exactly a food poisoning is, and what are the exact causes of it. Pardon my extreme ignorance but seriously. The only thing I know is that it happens because of food. I have heard about it happening to people a lot. Never happened to me, of course, or I would have found…”Oh! So, this is food poisoning. Dammit!”

So, boss asked about my last night’s food and basic causes. And I was like…”I had typical dinner, then slush and then lots of fudge brownies. Maybe it is some sort of wrong mixture of them that caused it. You never know, right?” Deep down in my heart I expected a burst of laughters from the other end but it never came; it worked. I said I would be in office within half an hour.

On the way to office I tried to cook some perfect recipe for food poisoning with minute details; wasn’t much help. As I reached office and faced my boss, I was inquired about my health. I said I was ok but not very well. Pretended to be weak and said that my stomach hurt a bit. Then came a very confusing question: “How many times did you go to the washroom?”, followed by some laughs. Stunned by the question and supported by my ignorance, I went like…”Not much. Doc just gave me this medicine and it helped me a lot. But my stomach still hurts a bit.”

Thank goodness he didn’t ask for the name of the medicine.

Then in the afternoon, boss dropped some “namak-paray” on my desk. I wonder if there is any creature who lets go anything free. I started eating instantly. After a few minutes I remembered, suddenly, that I was having food poisoning and my stomach was so delicate. Dammit. Then I went like…”Oooh! My stomach hurts.” Boss went like…”Oh! Sorry that I dropped these on your desk.”

Dude, I can be a very good actor. One Oscar please!

Nothing new. I just went to this protest in front of PPPPPPPPPPPP office in Faisal Town this evening. HR invited me. Around 30 people showed up. It was okay. I mean who listens to 30 people in Pakistan of 160 Million and everyone with his/her own opinion and action plan of things. Those are different worlds where it happens, but not in my great land.

Then I went straight to get haircut. It was scheduled last week but lethargy ruled me like always these days. Something’s wrong with me: I am always dizzy, even if I gulp a jug full of coffee. Did not much at work. I am seriously thinking about consulting a doctor but don’t know how I would do that with this laziness. Maybe I should dial 1122.

I will get striaght to the business: it is prohibited by law of Pakistan to deface image of the Founder of Pakistan Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah. And you have shown tears on his image. He was a man of courage. If he could stand the violence and killings before making of Pakistan, he could very well stand what’s happening right now.

You have done a f*cking ridiculous job like always: rubbing wounds for your own sake.

I just hope that someone will sue the f*ck out of you.

Yours truly,