Somehow, a mysterious way of nature, I couldn’t wake up at 8 30 in the morning. Obvious, as it may seem, I was late for office. In fact I wanted to forget office for a while and be deliberately very late. (”very” is special here, because I am late everyday). Did nothing particular. Just kept myself in bed and stared ceiling for a couple of hours.

At about 11 45 (in the noon?) my boss called and inquired about my plans of reaching office. Since I didn’t have any reasons so I had to fabricate a lie on the fly. Of course you know by now that I had a reason but that’s actually just apex of stupidity, no? Anyways, I had to tell a lie and tell it quick. I told my boss that I had food poisoning last night, and second appointment with doctor in the morning. The first appointment was of course last night in Emergency. Heard a loud scream on the other end of the phone: “Food poisoning?!?!?!?!?!”.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what exactly a food poisoning is, and what are the exact causes of it. Pardon my extreme ignorance but seriously. The only thing I know is that it happens because of food. I have heard about it happening to people a lot. Never happened to me, of course, or I would have found…”Oh! So, this is food poisoning. Dammit!”

So, boss asked about my last night’s food and basic causes. And I was like…”I had typical dinner, then slush and then lots of fudge brownies. Maybe it is some sort of wrong mixture of them that caused it. You never know, right?” Deep down in my heart I expected a burst of laughters from the other end but it never came; it worked. I said I would be in office within half an hour.

On the way to office I tried to cook some perfect recipe for food poisoning with minute details; wasn’t much help. As I reached office and faced my boss, I was inquired about my health. I said I was ok but not very well. Pretended to be weak and said that my stomach hurt a bit. Then came a very confusing question: “How many times did you go to the washroom?”, followed by some laughs. Stunned by the question and supported by my ignorance, I went like…”Not much. Doc just gave me this medicine and it helped me a lot. But my stomach still hurts a bit.”

Thank goodness he didn’t ask for the name of the medicine.

Then in the afternoon, boss dropped some “namak-paray” on my desk. I wonder if there is any creature who lets go anything free. I started eating instantly. After a few minutes I remembered, suddenly, that I was having food poisoning and my stomach was so delicate. Dammit. Then I went like…”Oooh! My stomach hurts.” Boss went like…”Oh! Sorry that I dropped these on your desk.”

Dude, I can be a very good actor. One Oscar please!